Saturday, 27 December 2008

Starting again...

How can we call it much of a 'break' when it is impossible to ignore all your fertility signs and to have such a (despite the miscarriages) consistant cycle?...
I am now at the start of another cycle - which means I am not pregnant despite last months frolicks. Which also confirms my thoughts on DH and the 'quality' (so to speak) of his sperm (of course the 'problem' could still be with me once pregnant but there is no doubt we could all improve). We have had a good long talk though and he has agreed to make some changes. I have no hope in hell at this moment for him to stop smoking but he has agreed to make a change in what he does smoke and for now we will give the pure loose tabacco a go (which has to be better then the chemically saturated crap he smokes now!). When we conceived our son, he was in the process of quitting - or at least not smoking at all due to the fact that he was at my parents house (which meant that he could not). Regardless, I have no doubt (and those scientists who have done all the research on it can prove I am sure!) that smoking is part of the 'problem'.
However, my conclusions about the progesterone cream - Natpro that I use - have also been confirmed! It is lovely for my skin (in more ways than one!) - I have had only one spot this cycle (and it only just popped out today!). It has also improved my AF! I am having no cramps! - and no thick chunky clots (in case you were not aware, thick chunky clots are not normal!) and my lower back pain is hardly there at all! (not to mention, I am pretty sure I have no or hardly any PMT!) I have no doubt that this is an improvment caused by my use of natural progesterone cream. However, I am pretty sure that it is the cause of my 'monthly' contipation as well (though easily fixed with a few diet changes hehe) - but compared to how my 'periods' used to be...dare I say that they are actually now rather...well I can't think of the word! I want to say 'welcoming' but seeing as I am trying for a baby, they are not welcome at all...but I think you get the idea!
So here is to a new start...hopefully! A few changes, and perhaps we will have some luck!

Sunday, 21 December 2008


Natpro is my natural progesterone cream that I use. I have not been using it long enough in a non-TTC mode to be able to report to you all the wonderful benefits that natural progesterone cream is supposed to have on a woman who suffers from painful periods and other general womanly discomforts but I have to say that I have no complaints about fact, I think as a general cream, it is wonderful! I can not really say if it is/will/can help me hold onto a baby (I believe that if I do indeed have low progesterone, that it will and can) - but it is proving to be wonderful to my skin! Normally, my skin clears up quite a bit around ovulation and when AF is around the corner, I get rather spotty! Well, either I am pregnant (which would be wonderfully welcomed as I also have clear skin when I am pregnant! hehe) or this cream is really wonderful for my skin (perhaps both!). I apply it every morning and evening around my ovary 'area', my lower back, my neck and my face as my face gets rather dry in the winter months. Now, usually because I have such sensitive skin and break out easily I am wary of what kind of 'lotions' I put on my face but Natpro has no smell, is not oily at all, and absorbes quickly. It leaves my face feeling fresh and wonderful - and not dry at all despite such harsh dry and cold winter weather! skin is clear (not a spot in sight)!
I love also how all the ingredients are organic and natural and that each ingredient is clearly listed with its purpose (as to why it is in the cream!) - instead of being in the dark about what I am putting on my skin, I can feel good about the product that I am using!
Time can only tell for the rest.... Deffinitely a recommended item though!

Hopeful, Conclusions

So the time draws near again...that 'time' of the month. I am due AF sometime around Christmas. I am of course hopeful that our earlier frolicks this month have landed us with a success in the baby making department. At the begining of this cycle I started on the progesterone cream again (Natpro) and unlike our last try I have been on it now for my whole cycle and not just after I have ovulated. I will continue to stay on it until at least 10 weeks of pregnancy, if I should ever get there! Of course we are not actually 'trying', but we were not preventing either and I know roughly about when I ovulated so there is a pretty good chance there...which brings me to some conclusions: The first month that we set off in TTC was unsuccessful - the months after that we were. The only difference was that my DH was not on any supplements (specifically aimed towards TTC). So, if we are not successful this month (and as we are not actually 'trying' - DH is on no supplements) that leads me to believe that part of the 'problem' lies with him (and I think this would have to do with his smoking). I came to this conclusion in that we fall pregnant when we are supplemented, but are unsuccessful - despite having sex before, around, and after (just in case!) ovulation - when we are not on supplements (and by 'we' - I mean DH). What other conclusion could there be? I find it highly unlikely that one could not fall pregnant otherwise with so much baby dance juice (hehe) around for the time of ovulation! So why are our babies not sticking? Well the blood tests they did came back normal so there are no answers there, that 'problem' could have been down to unlucky chance or perhaps a real problem that lies in either of us (I am thinking that 'problem' is more likely to be mine). So if I have to suffer another miscarriage, then I will be going back to my GP and asking them specifically what tests they did exactly and what other tests could perhaps be done.
If I am pregnant, I will know when my period has not showed up ...despite all that has happened to me since our journey began, my cycles are still very regular. But I will be too afraid to take a test and just will be holding on to hope until I get to a place where I feel it is 'safe' enough to not worry about about m/c again! I asked my DH if he would like us to tell his parents in the new year if I am indeed pregnant (I will know full well by then that I am if AF has not arrived!) and he said that perhaps he should wait... Maybe he does not have much faith in this? I am not sure if he is just being naturally cautious and does not want me to get my hopes up and hurt again as I have before, or if he is being pessimistic. I am not sure how either really make me feel!
At least Christmas is just around the corner! - I have more than a handful of wonderful things to keep my mind occupied!

Thursday, 11 December 2008

In a depressed funk

Sigh*... It happens...usually around the time I ovulate. I get such in a depressed funk - it's hard to get out of. It does not help that everywhere I look, people seem to be pregnant or just had a baby! What is it with that?!!! I can also find for you every reason why this seems to be unfair as well! I just found out yesterday that someone I know is pregnant with their fifth child...FIFTH! - and their youngest is only 12 months old! it a blood competition or something!

Monday, 8 December 2008

Got my results!

And they are all normal - so 'no action'.
It is good and bad news. It is good news because I am healthy and normal according to the results (and I was mistaken - they took 12 vials and not 10 like I though! lol)...
But it is bad because it means there is no reason for the miscarriages that I had meaning that it was just plain bad luck. It makes me afraid to get pregnant again because of course I will always be worried that I will just have another miscarriage!
I do not think they checked progesterone though - so I am going to stick with the cream for awhile. It can not hurt.

We got a bit frisky last night and as we are not exactly 'preventing' a pregnancy, theres always a possibility there. We are still 'taking a break' for awhile (until March now) but if the mood arises, will not take any measures to prevent a pregnancy if it were to happen. I keep hoping that this might be what we need to do in order to get lucky, but I am also not very positive about it I guess (because of my fears of another loss) - but as we are not actively planning at the moment I can do nothing but relax and just take things as they come - because there is no need for me to think about it!

Friday, 28 November 2008


Well I got my blood tests done today. The lady was really nice about it and understanding (that I do not do well with needles). She let me lay down and kept me talking and used the blood pressure thing on my arm that made it go numb so I couldn't feel anything - which was nice.
I will now have to wait 10 days until I get the here is to waiting!

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Appointment made .

Well - I have finally started my period! A new cycle! I was wondering when it would happen as I have been having spotting for about a week now...which is unusual for me. Though all in all, my cycle has not changed much despite past occurances.
So my appointment is for Friday morning. I am not looking forward to it, only because I do no do well with needles. I am faint just thinking about it. So some bach flower remedies for me and I think I will also bring some music I can listen to on headphones so I can keep my mind occupied on other things.

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Taking a Break

I never understood how anyone could actually 'take a break' from TTC - But I understand it now. We obviously have to wait at the moment because I have to wait until I get a period so that I can schedule those blood tests that have to be done on a certain day of my cycle (day 3-5 roughly). I do not see this happening until beginning/mid December. I am only now just having some ewcm - so I do not think I have ovulated yet. I have not temped at all since the miscarriage. If you could call this a 'cycle', I am on CD 16. So I will not ovulate much later than normal. If the blood tests come back in time, and nothing shows up out of the ordinary, we could technically try this December. It was the original plan at the beginning of the year. But, as much as I would love another Virgo (Duncan and I both being wonderful Virgos ourselves), I am not sure how I feel about having another September (or near that time) birthday - really for the sake of Duncan (having his own birthday month and all, if you know what I mean). Duncan and I are also having some struggle at the moment as well. I guess it is never 'easy' no matter what age your child is, but this is something a bit deeper I would like for us to work on at the moment.
So...we are waiting which will eventually end up being us taking a break. How long for, I do not know right now. I guess I am just taking every day a day at a time. However, we will not be using any protection if the mood arises from December onwards, so if we fall lucky then I will be very blessed and thankful (no matter when my baby is due to be born!).

Monday, 27 October 2008

My Appointment

Well I just got back this morning from seeing the GP who is a fertility specialist.
Nothing special really but he has booked me in for some blood tests (a lot actually - he said if I am not anemic when I go in, I will be when I leave!). But I have to wait until I have a period as these tests need to be done between CD 3-5 so I need to call in when I get a period and book the blood tests then.
He said the most likely think he could think it is is PCOS...whatever that is. But that we won't really know anything until the blood tests come through and I can find out those results about 10 days after they are done as a few of them are really complex and take a bit longer than the rest. He said that if anything else shows up, most likely it will be something that can easily be fixed as clearly I am ovulating and we are having successes, but they are just not staying put!
So really...I am back to waiting but lets hope theres something there because then I feel I can do something about it, and it can easily be fixed then and then maybe a baby will decide to stay put!!!

Friday, 24 October 2008


I braved it and called our medical practice to see someone about the miscarriages I have had and see if we can work something out and get to the bottom of this. I have an appointment on Monday with a GP who specialises in/takes great interest in 'fertility issues'. Hopefully we can figure it out so that the next time I get pregnant, I have a baby that stays put a happy and healthy 9 months!
I am looking forward to the appointment and am trying not to think too much of anything else at this moment. I have a few ideas of what my 'issue' could be but I am no professional. I just hope that they can give me all they got so that I do not walk away without some kind of answer other than just 'bad luck'.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

It's over

I had some spotting last night. Of course I was instantly worried that this baby was not sticking. I was right to be worried too. I had a temp drop this morning and took another pregnancy test which was very light considering I just took one a few days ago that was much much darker.
I'm having another miscarriage.
What is wrong with my body?
At this point it feels like I am never going to get the chance to have another child.
I feel like shit.
DH is staying home with me today. I just don't feel like I can function properly.
I know these feelings will pass and I will be right back to TTC but right now I just can not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I will make an appointment with the GP to see if my concerns about progesterone are correct. There has to be a reason why these babies are just not sticking.
Maybe all the forces in the world just hate me.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

5 Weeks Today!

I am 5 Weeks today!
According to my 'Day by Day - Pregnancy Calendar':

"At three weeks’ gestation,
five weeks after your Last Menstrual Period,
early heartbeats, facial features and lung buds begin to form."

How cool is that! My little apple seed has a heartbeat! How sweet it will be to hear that in a few months time!

Monday, 20 October 2008

Another boy?

So far I am thinking this baby might be another boy! (I would be wonderfully fine with that! hehe) My first trimester with DS is starting to come back to me and they are both looking very similar. I am not very hungry usually, which is unlike me (hehe) and when I am hungry I am craving a good mix of salty and sweet. Rice loaded with soya sauce seems to really hit the spot, followed by some syrupy sweet waffles for example! Just going to have to wait till June to find out! hehe

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Another doula down but slightly more promising...

I got another email this morning from another doula I enquired about and the distance is an issue for her as well (all the doulas available to me are going to be a distance away from me though - not counting the unafordable doula that is only 6 miles away from me, they start out at 15 miles +). On the plus side, this is looking positive for my future career as a doula...hehe. If doulas are going to be sought after in my area, I am going to be the most affordable available one around! :p
I find it kinda ironic that I made a short mental list, just based on profle and website (for those that had one) whom I thought I would prefer and in which order and so far that is how they have emailed me! hehe Doula Emma was the first to email me and Doula Rachel was the second. She also has a website and sounds lovely! (I think most doulas must be lovely! hehe) Distance is an issue for her as well, but it looks a bit more promising as she did say that if I am unable to find a doula then perhaps I could get back to her and we could arrange something. This is probably going to end up being the case.

Saturday, 18 October 2008

One doula down...

And only a few left to go... I can not afford anything more than a trainee and because of where we live, that does not give me much option!
I just got an email from the doula that I put top of my list based on her profile and website, but she is not happy with the distance between us (an hours drive). Good and bad (for me) about that obviously, she sounds like a lovely doula!...If I get through the list of all available to me in the area that I live in (I searched only up to 20 mile radius), then I may go back to her and beg that she accept the distance and wish for a labour no shorter than 2 hours long :p lol
The 'problem' I can see is that when I went to the doula UK website and searched for doulas in my 'area' based on post code (up to 20 mile radius) is that they are all a good distance away from me from 15 miles to 20 miles but nothing under that! So the distance might be an issue with all of them and that leaves me with nothing because there is only one doula under 15 miles away from me (6 in fact - she is the closest) but she is far from a trainee and that is something we can not afford. Not to mention that I think having a trainee would be nice. I would like to support a trainee doula seeing as how one day that may also be me....ho hum...hmmm........

Thinking of a Doula

Well...more like searching for one now!
Last night I started to think about the possibility of a doula. DH said 'maybe' and that usually means yes. This morning, it is more of a reality. I just have to find one now!
I am going to email all the doulas available in our area to see if I can find one that is right for our family. DH is a wonderful husband and father and will be a great support to me, but a doula can offer me more of what I need and that is something that my DH has to worry about less as well. So we can all be happy in the end!
I will stick with a 'trainee' doula as they can charge no more than £150 for a birth and that is within our budget.
I can't wait to see which doula we find!!!

Friday, 17 October 2008

Thats what I like to see!

Compared: 14DPO and 17DPO.......
Getting a nice dark line! hehe

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Pregnancy in Pictures ~ 4W1D

Here it is....impending bump!


I am 4 weeks and 1 day (LMP) pregnant today!
My cervix is nice and high today (not that it has been low, but it has been questionably more low than high) and I think that may have something to do with the natural progesterone cream that I started taking yesterday. I am not sure, but I think 'how' and 'when' it starts to work is going to vary from person to person - so some may say it works right away whilst others may feel it has taken them a few months to work. I am definitely feeling more pregnant today! hehe
I am also on CD33 - which was my last day of pregnancy last cycle.
Stick stick stick!

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Natural Progesterone Cream

My natural progesterone cream (Natpro) arrived today! I am very excited and will happily start using it right away! I got it because I think my progesterone levels are low and this can cause early miscarriages - something I want to prevent! It is also good for preventing pre-term labour as well.
I also bought some Black Haw - which has yet to come but it is supposed to help in the same way! (as in helping to prevent miscarriage and pre-term labour.)
Getting myself covered! hehe
Stick stick stick!!!

Monday, 13 October 2008


So far this pregnancy is very different! (especially considering my last pregnancy was only just a month ago!) For starters, I had no clue (and because of that, no hope) about being pregnant (based on symptoms alone here). My symptoms were all mixed up. An equal amount of 'I could be pregnant' and '...nope, AF is just around the corner!'. Signs that I were sure were positive pregnancy signs last cycle are not really showing up this cycle. My nipples are not sore at all! I have tender breasts, but that is nothing new around this time of the month. Also, my cervix is not so high and creamy. I feel it as sort of middle ground with very little creamy cervical fluid. I think the only real conclusive pregnancy evidence is the colour of my nipples...but even I am not sure if that is just in my head! hehe (I think the are a few shades darker!)
I hope the fact that it is very different from the last pregnancy is a very good thing!
Sticky sticky sticky!!! :)

Sunday, 12 October 2008

Stick stick stick

Trying not to worry this time around. I just want this baby to stick stick stick!!!

Saturday, 11 October 2008


Another picture of a BFP this morning! hehe...

Please sticky baby stick baby stick!!!




We did it again!!! - Third time lucky! Yay!...Please baby stick this time!!!

Friday, 10 October 2008

Could it be implantation spotting?!!!

So today I was having some cramping. I have been having some cramping for the past few that general area ...but it always just turns out to be gas! Well no gas today but still some slight cramping. Then this afternoon I felt rather ill - 'morning sickness' kinda ill. A friend I ran into even said I looked kinda pail and I told her I was feeling kinda ill and she immediatly though 'good luck! - Lets hope this is it!'...I am begining to feel the same.

It doesn't help that I come home to use the toilet only to find this!...

Just like my implantation spotting last time! A tiny bit of fresh blood in clear creamy cervical fluid! I never get fresh blood when AF is around the corner. I get spotting, but my AF spotting (even my m/c spotting the day before) is more of a brown creamy cervical fluid followed by the next day of full on bleeding.

So...I think this might be it!!! I am crossing everything and hoping and praying and trying to think positive and be happy! I really really hope I have a growing little bundle of baby in there. And I so hope that this time I have a baby that sticks!

Sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Agnus Castus (chasteberry) - a.k.a. Vitex!

Well...I sent my DH out to H&B again today (they should know him by name now! hehe) to get me some Angus Castus (Vitex). It is well known for balancing hormones during the menstrual cycle in women who are estrogen dominant and is used by many to help aid in fertility during TTC. I think this could be what my 'problem' might be. I think I might have low progesterone (and as a result - too much estrogen) - I have a lot of signs that point to this. These things should be balanced. Low progesterone might even be linked to the cause of some miscarriages. So of course, paranoid me will want to make sure I can prevent all the nasty stuff from happening if I can!
So here goes...add it to my pic n' mix batch! hehe

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Feeling crappy

I took a pregnancy test - and it was a negative. I know I know...I am only 8DPO. But at least last time I got what looked almost like an evap line so I had some hope then. My symptoms are also just too different this cycle around. The only symptom I think I can actually count on right now is my cervix and cervical fluid - which is high and creamy at the moment and I do believe that is at least a good sign. However, I kinda knew I was going to have a miscarriage last cycle when my cervix dropped the day before I started bleeding heavily but it is usually up and down and up and down during the 2ww when AF is on her right now I feel I am just waiting for it to drop because I do not think we have been lucky this cycle. I was thinking it might be my progesterone. If I am not pregnant this cycle, I will add progesterone cream to my list of TTC pic n' mix I think. Just need to find some at a reasonable price now!
The only odd extra symptom I have this month that I have never had is itchy boobs!...No idea what that could mean though. They itch on the inside though, not an itch that I can really itch, if that makes any sense. Like how a wound itches when it is healing.
I will not be temping for a few days to help take my mind off things as temping really can not tell me anything right now anyhow. I will try and hold out until at least Friday to take another test. If that shows no glimmer of hope, then I will try and wait until next Tuesday which is when my period should be 'due'.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008


Well...halfway through my third 2ww and I just do not know what to think. My symptoms are all mixed up but today I have no hope at all because I am so bloody irritable that I just figure it could be nothing other than PMS! And I guess I am just feeling really do down today because of it :(. Another few days and I will start testing. It ain't over till its over.

Monday, 6 October 2008

Implantation cramping? certainly feels that way and at 6dpo (CD24) its surely far too early to be anything else. I am trying very hard to be hopeful and trying very hard not to get my hopes up. It is a vicious battle. I will be inspecting my toilet paper closely for the next few where is that magnifying glass of mine? lol

Sunday, 5 October 2008

Anovulatory + Crosshairs...

Well, here I was thinking that this just might be my first anovulatory cycle but then FF just gave me crosshairs on my chart this morning! I still feel a bit 'iffy' about it but I do think that FF might be correct as it has been rather chilly these past few nights and my temp more resembles a post-O temp because I slept with extra blankets on as I couldn't put up with the uncomfortable cold anymore! (I slept wonderfully too because of it! hehe). I still am not feeling very positive for this cycle though. I am having a lot of mixed up stuff so here it is:

Signs for me ~ I am craving savories such as cheese and pasta. Sensitive nipples. Clear skin, despite being oily this morning I have no spots! My skin was very clear during my pregnancy with Duncan. No bloating. I am not feeling or looking the slightest bit bloated which I always do pre-AF. My cervical fluid went straight to creamy from egg whites. It usually goes dry then creamy pre-AF.
Signs against me ~ My face was kinda oily this morning which it usually is when AF is around the corner. I am also craving chocolate which I usually do pre-AF. Sore breasts, could be either for or against me sign though but I normally always have sore breasts pre-AF as well.
Confusions ~ I am not gassy, and I usualy am either way. I am also not sure how much I can trust my cycle post m/c. Besides my temps seeming to be all over the place, my ovulation (if I did indeed ovulate at all) and fertile signs (cervix and membranes) are all pretty much as usual! I want to be hopeful but I also do not want to fall into the naive trap again. I have read and been told that one is more fertile after a m/c but I don't want to just bet on that.
As usually though...either way, I will only just have to wait and see I guess won't I!

Thursday, 25 September 2008

TTC (post m/c) Pic n' Mix

Time to rattle and roll! hehe...Here is the latest TTC pic n' mix for both DH and I! So here it is - cycle #3:

Hers (thats me again :p hehe) - From Left to right:
The first is Omega 3: This is great for your body and potential growing baby. It has been shown in studies to prevent miscarriage. What I want and need!
The second is 'hers' Sanatogen 'pronatal' vitamin designed for women during TTC!
The third is Vitamin B complex: Increases fertility - so they say!
The fourth is Vitamin E: Just good for skin!
The fifth is folic acid: Just to be on the safe side!

His (DH that is!) - From Left to Right:
The first is the same Omega 3 I am taking.
The second is Vitamin C: Because he smokes.
The third is 'his' Sanatogen 'pronatal': The 'other half' :p
The fourth is the same Vitamin B Complex: For good luck :p
The fifth is Zinc!: For good sperm production and mobility!
The sixth is the same Folic Acid: For more good luck! :p

Mrs. Impatient

So I guess we are back here again. I have no patience and have decided to not wait for a period. I figure that if I was not even trying and looking for the signs (and taking such early pregnancy tests!) then I might have not even known I was pregnant to begin with and would have kept on trying anyhow! I had a pretty straight forward m/c so I think everything should be fine.
I guess I will be having my fingers crossed again! Bring on the baby dance!
Third time lucky right?

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Fertility Goddess

I got my fertility goddess charm in the post yesterday. I am wearing her on a necklace today! - She is the modern representation of the Nile Fertility Goddess which has her arms raised to symbolize the continuance of generations and her shape represents birth. Lets hope she is the charm we need! It's a pretty little piece at least.

Sunday, 21 September 2008


The bleeding topped last Thursday. But then yesterday evening I had some strange brown spotting occurance. It was just like a blob - like a forgotten bit my body just had to finish up with or something. I am wondering when I will get a period again. It feels like I am always waiting for something these days! I would try sooner but I have been told and read that the possibility of twins is greater if you conceive right after a miscarriage due to your body releasing more than one egg as a sort of 'catch-up'. True or not, the possibility of any truth in that has scared me enough in having me wait until I at least get a period before we start to TTC again.
Yesterday I felt horrible. It was the same sort of feeling I got about five days after my son was born. They call it the 'baby blues'. I guess its possible to get them even after an early miscarriage. It is caused by your hormones getting settled again I guess. I hate the feeling. I had a few good cries. I am feeling much better today.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

A Miscarriage

I started having some spotting on Friday night. I was so worried. You never think it will happen to you. I guess one lesson I am still learning in life is not to be naive. The cramps started the next afternoon and now I am bleeding quite heavily. My baby may no longer be growing in my womb, but they will be in my thoughts forever.
My little one, You have left us too soon, though my body can no longer hold you, I hold you forever in my heart. As precious and beautiful as this flower caught in time ~ A mother's love does not forget

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."

Thursday, 11 September 2008

Cravings already!

Cheese! - I can't seem to get enough of it, which makes me my own worst enemy as I am lactose intolerant! Oh dear. I also seem to just crave savory items in general. The other day I had a lovely hearty vegetable soup. At this point I think I could eat that everyday! When I was pregnant with DS, I craved mostly sweet things and sour things in the third trimester, but I think that was past the first trimester and I can not really remember what I craved in the first trimester...I think it was savory as well but don't quote me on that! I do not remember being this hungry though with DS! I go from just eating a meal to starving in no time at all! ...think I need to remember to eat smaller meals more often!

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

4 Weeks - In Pictures

So here is a photo of me today - After my very conclusive 'pregnant' from the Clearblue digital pregnancy test. I am exactly 4 weeks (LMP) - 2 weeks gestation today. No bump yet of course...but an impending one on its way! hehe

A line is a line but.....

You can not beat the Clearblue Digital crystal clear words of 'Pregnant'! - And this test also tells you how long ago you conceived. For me, it says 1-2 weeks ago which is exactly right - I conceived two weeks ago today!

Conclusive evidence that seems to satisfy my husband!!! The most sophisticated piece of technology I will ever pee long as I do not ever pee on the computer he says! ;)

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

My Tests...

Here are my pregnancy tests - from the top to the bottom we have 10DPO, 11DPO, 12DPO, and 13DPO:


My EDD is the 20th of May.

How did I figure this out?

Well - since I have been charting my fertility I could pin-point my date of ovulation based on my BBT (thats basal body temperature). Because I know when I ovulated, I know the soonest possible time that I could have concieved. I can then figure out my when my baby would be due based on this and the knowledge that the average pregnancy is 280/266 days long.

I used Prem's Rule to figured out my EDD.

Here is a good website in helping you figure out your EDD to the best of your knowledge! I found it very helpful!

We did it!

Well it is official!...

I am pregnant!
I have been taking a pregnancy pretty much everyday since 8DPO and the line has slowly got darker and darker! It is still a faint pink like, but a line is a line! Second time lucky! I am so excited!
Due a baby 20th of May!!!

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Am I seeing lines?

Well I am not sure!
I took a pregnancy test when I was 8DPO and got a Big Fat very White Negative!
So I took a pregnancy test yesterday - 10DPO and got a very very very faint line. DH eventually agreed to seeing it but then made off as if I was crazy and pretended to not see it after that. I could see it at any angle, right away within the appropriate time period but I could not manage to get a picture of it.
So my impatience has led me to take another test on a Clearblue this morning - 11DPO and I could see another very very faint line this time. DH says he can see it too but feels it is not conclusive of a Big Fat Positive. So I agree, I do not consider it conclusive.
Here it is anyhow. I think you can just about see it - right where it crosses over the most obviously blue line. eh? If you can't see it well there - try here. I have posted this on another forum and so far the other woman that have looked can see it as well. But I have been told to be wary for the blue line pregnancy tests. If it helps any, the line I think I can see appeared right away as soon as the pee touched it!

I am just hoping I am pregnant!...But am I hoping so much I am seeing lines?! Arrghh! For now, I do not consider this my BFP!...but we shall wait and see!
I will try to wait until Wed to test again! hehe

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Implantation spotting?

Could it be? - DPO 7!...I am in the appropriate time frame for it!... I have felt a dull ache (not comparable to period cramps) all day yesterday and a bit today as well! It's tiny I know!...I have put a pen dot next to it for size reference!
I wasn't very hopeful up till now. I have been checking my discharge since I've been in the 'implantation' window (thats 6-10 days after ovulation) I know I am totally over-analysing!...or am I?! I keep worrying it will fall out if I cough or if I am too hopeful, it will be taken away from me...Silly I know :(...
Please God let this be it!...Let there be a baby in there and stick baby stick!

Saturday, 30 August 2008

2WW again!...

And this time, I actually and feeling a bit more patient. I don't want to get my hopes up like last time so even at the moment I am not feeling very hopeful. I am trying to stay positive though.
My cycle however is all over the place. First FF predicted that I had ovulated on CD 13 which is so much earlier than I normally ovulate (that being between CD 20-24). However, I am on the vitamin B complex now which could have a lot to answer for. But then my temperature dropped again. It is not back up so FF has just changed their predictions, now predicting that I O'd on CD 17 instead. Still quite earlier than I normally O!... I am not sure if this Vit B complex is a good thing or not yet! hehe...If it is making my cycles shorter, I guess thats a good thing as it means less waiting around! hehe
We shall see! ...Maybe this will be the cycle I get my BFP!...
Still unsure about when I want to test though as I don't want to jump too soon but I do have seven pregnancy tests lined up so I can afford to be a bit impatient ;)! hehe

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Here we go again!...

And more luck is needed!...Time to DTD! ...thats 'do the deed'.
I am showing signs of fertility so DH and I are off to do the baby dance!...Only 'odd' thing this cycle around, is that we are also going to stay at his parents house for this next week. If that doesn't make things interesting, hopefully it will still be fun! hehe It will give us a twist though and perhaps that is what we need? We will get the opportunity to baby dance in the A.M. and maybe thats this eggs pick up time! Who knows... But I really hope we are lucky this time around. Give me that BFP! And if we are even more lucky, I am still hopefully in for that Taurus baby!!!

Here we go again!!!

Thursday, 21 August 2008

I have seen it all now!

What do you know...another product aimed at those desperately trying to conceive a baby!...The Conception Pillow!
I get the general idea...and I think anyone who is TTC would as well. But common...look at that price (doesn't look like something I could get in the UK anyhow)!!!...All of us TTC already are/have/will try that 'positioning' after the Baby Dance (BD/DTD) in our own homes, with our own pillows...for FREE! lol
The things people come up with!...It always makes me wonder: 'Why didn't I think of that!'...I could be rich by now! hehe

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

TTC Pic n' mix - cycle #2!

So here is our new pic n' mix for the second round of trying - cycle #2!

As I said in an earlier post, DH has now agreed to take some supplements. I hope it helps to create some fabulous healthy sperm and that it gives us a better chance at concieving!

His (thats DH :p)
The first A vitamin C tablet - High stregth. As DH smokes, I have read that it is best he take some extra vitamin C to help those spermies out. I do not like that he smokes and I have tried several ways to help him to stop smoking but there is nothing more I can do so it is up to him really. At least he is willing to take these supplements so lets hope they help!
The second is the Sanatogen 'pronatal' designed for men during TTC!

Hers (that me :p)
The first is RRL.
The second is EPO.
The third is a 'hers' Sanatogen 'pronatal' vitamin designed for woman during TTC!
The fourth is a Vitamin B Complex. I am hoping that this will help to legthen my LP. My LP without EPO is 11 days. With EPO it was 14 days. But I stopped taking the EPO after ovulation because EPO can cause cramping and thus prevent implantation...back to a short LP then I guess. I could indeed have had a fertelised egg, that just didnt have enough time to implant (normally, implantation occurs between days 7-10 after ovulation, but sometimes sooner and sometimes longer...11 day LP is pushing it a bit if I need a bit longer!) no pregnancy occured :(. But Vitamin B Complex (Vit B6 to be more exact but it is best to always try and make your supplements 'well rounded' I feel) is supposed to help with that so I hope it does!
The fifth is Vitamin E.

And thats that! Heres to a healthy second round of TTC! I hope DH can handle it. It's certainly more sex than we would normally have! hehe

I'm Out...

AF is here... :( Thats a 'no-go' for this cycle then. A BFN.
I had spotting on Sunday, which I figured could be implantation spotting. I was trying to be hopeful! Then more spotting yesterday and a light bleed. Full on bleeding this morning and some pretty heavy cramping (as per usual for my AF visit). I had even put my mooncup away but I guess I have had to get her out again! Oh well...That was the longest 2WW of my life! How will I go through that again?! Why does it feel like its been years since I last ovulated and that it will be years until I ovulate again?
In one window, I am fine with this. I favour the larger age gaps, but my impatience has led us to start trying when we did! However, nature has other plans and the fact that that will make the age gap a bit larger is great for us I think! However, I am upset about it. I was really grumpy about it yesterday as well. I guess it was a bit naive of me to assume we would be lucky first try around. We sure were with Duncan and we were not even trying! (hehe)
DH was a bit upset about it as well. I think it was probably due more to the fact that made me a bit upset though. It did surprise me though because even though we went into this together, it has clearly always been me that was in want of another baby. He was just going along with the ride as there was really no reason for him to say no. He has agreed to take some supplements though...which also surprised me! So we are both on the pic n' mix now! Lets hope it helps - at least we will both me more healthy!
Heres to the next cycle then. I am due to ovulate around the end of the month/first week in September. I have my fingers crossed once more!

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Pregnancy smoothie

To help me gain more nutrience, especially iron, during this (possible) pregnancy and to stay within a weekly shopping budget, I have come up with a simple breakfast and/or lunch smoothie that is quick and easy to make!


1). A Yoghurt (with or without fruit already added - I am having it with fruit already added)
2). Handful of fresh spinach leaves
3). Orange juice (as much or little as you like really!)
4). Fresh fruit (optional - you can fluff it up cheaply with some bananas or apples, etc)


Blend thoroughly and enjoy!

The best bit can't taste the spinach!

You can experiment with it as well. It's a pretty basic and easy smoothie to make that is just plain good for you as it is packed with iron and vitamin C and calcium as well as vitamin D!

Thursday, 31 July 2008

The 2WW Pic n' Mix

So here it is, my latest pic n' mix I feel is suitable for my 2WW.

The first is a Nettle tea. It is rich in iron and calcium and is an essential source of folic acid that is essential in early pregnancy. My iron levels were low when I concieved my son, so I want to make sure I get a good healthy start with this pregnancy! ( I know I do not know if I am pregnancy yet, but I am not taking any chances just in case! hehe) I let this soak all day in a cup and drink it before I go to bed.
The second is Red Raspberry Leaf (RRL) tea. This helps to keep your uterus toned and healthy. It is also high in iron. I am having it as a tea, a cup every few days as it will be lower potency than the capsules I was taking.
The third is a multi-omega. It is a 'vegan' suitable omega pill made from buckthorn oil that is high in omega 3,6,9, and 7! Omegas are great for a growing baby in utero. They help to build up the brain, form the retinas, and devlop the nervous system! Much needed for any little healthy baby einstein :p hehe I take three a day.
The fourth is my prenatal pill. A multi-vitamin and mineral suitable for pregnancy and breastfeeding. No 'real' reason why I have chosen the Sanatogen brand, but it is the same 'pronatal' pills I took when I was pregnant with my son. I take one a day every morning.
The fifth is Chlorophyll! Chinese Chlorella to be exact. This is also great for upping those iron levels! (I take three a day of 500mg) Most chlorophyll suppliments you can buy are derived from alfalfa. I will be trying different types of chlorophyll suppliments as my pregnancy goes on - so stay tuned! hehe
The sixth is my regular Vitamin E tablet - one a day. Great for my skin, babies skin and just a great all around vitamin suitable for mostly anyone! :)

You may notice that I am no longer taking the Evening Primrose Oil (EPO). This is because, whilst EPO is great for your fertility, it causes cramping of the uterus. This cramping could prevent implanting of the egg (which happens 7-10 days after you ovulate - if it has been fertelised! ;))...which of course is not desired! I may or may not take up the EPO further along in my pregnancy (as it is also great for softening your cervix making labouring easier, smoother, and slightly more effective I guess!) - I am yet uncertain how this would affect my uterin scar tissue. Avoiding a uterin rupture (UR) is top on my list when it comes to my HBAC!

My 2WW!

It is here it is here! - My official first two week wait (2WW!)! My temp spiked this morning meaning that I have indeed ovulated. I have decided, if all goes to plan, that I will test on the 15th of August. That is when my period 'should' be due - hopefully it will stay away! - I want my BFP!
This morning I felt like 'omg - what have we done?!' ...but now that the evening is here I am feeling really excited an anxious about it!...Which is a good sign because it's usually the other way around, that is...towards the evening I start to doubt myself about things. I am not doubting this at all now. I can't wait to add another member to our family! :D


Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Due to O' any day now!

We are DTD like crazy! - Thats 'doing the deed' *wink wink...hehe... I am due to ovulate any day now. Here are our fingers crossed for an egg that gets well fertelised and sticks like it has never stuck before...bring on my BFP!
DH just got home with my next batch of pic n' mix which I will start right after I O' in hopes that I am not jumping too fast and that is the start of my first trimester!

Thursday, 17 July 2008

My current thoughts and feelings

Today was the last day of my period. I am having a lot of thoughts and feelings about concieving and bringing another little life into the I guess anyone in my position would!
Sometimes I feel excited and in love at the prospect. In love is the best way to describe it. I feel in love with my family and more in love with my son than ever. It's strange to think that bringing a life into the world, whom I will love with all of my heart, causes me to love my son even more - to fall in love with him all over again. A year ago, I used to worry about loving more than one child. I used to wonder how I could do that and if I would have enough love for more than one. I know this is a normal thought and worry when talking about this with other parents who have more than one child. I see now that this is more than possible though. I feel now that your love just grows as your family grows and it just gets stronger everyday. I have no worries or doubts at all about loving another child. I feel I will have more than enough love to go around!
But then sometimes, usually by the end of the day, I get scared and sad. I think I feel a sort of loss. This sadness I think is because there will be a loss - but not a bad one, so to speak. It will sort of be like ending a book. My son and I will be ending a chapter in our lives, but we will be starting a new one. So it's not the end...I guess it's just another begining...which is what is sort of scary as well. But if we don't take chances, then I guess we will never know what the ending for us will be like when we get there and we could end up spending the rest of our lives wondering and just being afraid.
I know deep down we are ready. Ready as we will ever be. From here on out we are open to the possibility. I knew I was ready when the thought of an 'accident' did not 'freak' me out anymore. Creating another child, creating a sibling for my son has been well worth the wait and if it takes longer than planned, it will still be worth it. I am just glad that I have waited. It won't be a terribly large age gap - but I think it will be just perfect for our family. Not too large and yet not too small.
Today my son was playing with a baby doll at Cafe Club (we go to every Thursday - a two hour playgroup with lunch for both of us for only £2!) - he was putting it in the toy baby bath and washing it. It was lovely to watch. I don't know how many times I got choked up today...too many to count.

My love is still growing.

Friday, 11 July 2008

AF has arrived!

This is the first day of my last period before actively TTC!!! I am so excited. In just a few weeks we can really start DTD in hopes to catch that next eggy of mine. I predict I will ovulate around the second of August though at the moment, FF has that prediction a bit different. You can see my current chart here.
Hopefully this will be my last period for the rest of the year!
And because hopefully I can start taking month by month pictures of my ever growing belly - here are my last belly pictures before TTC!

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Pre-Preg/TTC Pic n' Mix

To help prepare my body and health for pregnancy I am taking a few things.

The first is a herbal drink for detoxing the body. It consists of Nettle, hibiscus and dandelion root. I leave it to sit during the day so its a nice strong tea which I drink before bedtime.
The second is a prenatal multivitamin and mineral. It is recommended that you take this up to three months before actively TTC, especially as it has the extra folic acid in it a pregnant woman would need.
The third is EPO. I have already explained what this is for in a previous post - but here it is again in case you missed it. I take this once a day as it is high strength - as you can tell by its size! hehe
The fourth is RRL. Same as above. I take this three to four times a day.
And the fifth is vitamin E. This is for my skin more than anything, but it certainly would not hurt to take it in pregnancy! Sometimes I also take a vitamin B5 (not pictured) for my skin as well as it can get rather oily which is what causes my breakouts and blackheads so the B5 really helps with preventing those nasties.

I will be changing up my 'Pic n' Mix' throughout pregnancy so keep an eye on those titled threads! hehe

Monday, 7 July 2008

My Fertility Chart

This is my fertilty chart that I have been keeping on 'Fertility Friend'. It is usually pretty accurate as I have quite regular cycles. My cycles seem to be about 35 days long - where I tend to ovulate on day 24. I have been taking EPO though (evening primrose oil) for the last few cycles and I have noticed that I am more fertile for longer (before I ovulate) and I think my LP (luteal phase - DPO/Days past ovulation) is getting longer. Which is all in good favour for concieving of course!
I am due to start my period for tomorrow, but I think it is a few days off - its all adjusting of course as it really does take it day by day. We shall see!... The start of my period is the start of my next cycle and that is the cycle we will start to TTC - I can not is so near!

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Meet your Brother

This is Duncan - Your Brother. He was born the 19th September 2005 at 15:55 by C-Section weighing 10lbs 4.5oz at 57cm long! Hes a sensitive, cheeky, fun loving little boy with such a big heart. Hopefully he will welcome you to the family with loving arms when that time comes. I love him to bits - I hope you will too!


Because you should not really paint whilst you are pregnant, I decided to get it out of the way now. Most woman experience 'nesting' when they are in their late stages of pregnancy but I experience it anytime I think about having a baby - a second child.
I will be keeping a written diary of our journey through TTC and Pregnancy as well as posting on this blog. I have one entry in my diary so far - so this blog entry is just a catch-up entry: ~20th June 2008 ~
Today is Friday. I decided to start a 'Pregnancy Diary'. This is because today I started painting our bedroom - a lovely soft green colou by 'Dulux' called 'Soft Apple' (in matt of course). So I will be writing this diary to you - our future second child who will one day be a part of this family and when you are, you will have me - your mummy and your Daddy as well, and most important of all - your brother Duncan who was born a few years ago on the 19th September 2005. I am looking foward to our journey together!

A Sibling for you!

We have decided to add another member to our family - completing the Harrison family. Our family currently consists of Me - Wife to David - Father to our son Duncan who will one day be the Brother to you, his future Sibling.
Deciding to add another member to our family was easy - I knew since my son was only a few months old that he would not be an only child. But deciding when to add another member to our family was not easy. You see, when you already have one child, you need to consider them into the equation before deciding to add another.
We have decided to start trying for another child the next time I ovulate - accord to Fertility Friend (which I use to help me track my fertility), I am expecting the little eggy on the 31st of July. If I fall pregnant right away, that will be nearly a four year age gap - perfect for our family I feel, as it is not too big and not too small. Not long to go now! Could it be you?

Welcome to our blog - A first post

Welcome to our new blog. You can visit our family blog here - the everyday happenings and pith of Harrison life.
But this blog will be more specifically about our journey through TTC, pregnancy and birth - about completing our family whilst we welcome a new member into it, providing for our son Duncan (19/09/05) a sibling.
Welcome to the journey!