Sunday, 29 November 2009

This weeks photo - 20+1!

Halfway there and here is this weeks photo! Feeling such a close bond and connection with my ever growing baby and bump! :D



What happened this week:

Rate of growth is now slowing down a little. Your baby receives nutrients 1-2 hours after you eat. 18 weeks' gestation 20 weeks from your LMP Foetus length: 16cm crown to rump (25cm or 9¾ inches head to toe).

My first BOY dream - Ever!

Last night I had my first boy dream!!!...ever! I never even had a boy dream when I was pregnant with DS - Not even after I knew he was a boy! So thats a first for me!
In my dream, everything went as planned. I was just so happy to have birthed and finally to meet my baby that I totally forgot to check if we had a son or daughter! hehe ...It wasn't until after my placenta had been birthed and after I even remembered that I had made my own cord ties (and found them) - that I finally though 'Oh yeah...lets see if we have a son or daughter!'...and sure enough, we had a son! And the name we have picked out for our might-be-son fit perfectly well as well. I was officially outnumbered! hehe
Oh - and he was tiny! Under 7lbs! All the girl dreams I have had so far they have been between 7-8lbs so 'average' in size.
Wonder what it means! hehe
Still not getting any deffinate boy or girl feelings for this baby - though I find myself constantly refering to my bump as a 'she'. So wonder if that means anything either?...hmmmm....

Saturday, 28 November 2009

20 WEEKS! - Halfway there!!!


I am 20 weeks today! Halfway to birthing day! Can-not-believe that I am already here!!! How time does fly!

From start of this pregnancy to now I have gained 19lbs so far. Not sure how I feel about that. Its not bad. Deffinately not as much as I gained in my first pregnancy with my son - so in that way it is good. Not sure if 19lbs is 'normal' though. I am also keeping measurments of my thighs and I can still get my wedding rings off - so it must just mostly be baby! hehe I am cutting out sugary carbs though and having a higher protein breakfast - so that should help with healthy weight gain! :)

I am also deffinately feeling hiccups now! hehe

Thursday, 26 November 2009

My decision to go Unassisted - 'A paradigm shift'

The decision to go unassisted was deffinatley a gradual thing. There are many different reasons that people are doing UC and I am sure just as equally, many different ways that they reached that desire.

For me, to reach this decision invovled a lot of healing, soul searching and research (four years of it so far and I think it still a continued thing and will be for the rest of my life - though I imagine that part of the shift will have more to do with developing an open mind and understanding and accepting others for who they are and their choices...One day I am sure I will have my own daughter-in-law lmao).

I had the same 'shift' (as some have called it) in my parenting when my son was born. I grew up in many fosters homes - many abusive in more than one way...and I sometimes wonder if I would be the parent I am today without that. Its kind of the same to where I am today in regards to my body, my baby, birthing - and just being a woman and mother in general. My son was born via C-section and I often wonder if I would be where I am today without that. I am one of those people that do not have 'regrets' because I can see where my past has brought me on my path today.

For us - UC just feels right. If there is one thing I have learned as a mother, it is how to listen and trust my instincts. This is just a gradul and learned thing as well. I get this feeling and then I know its right. That was the only thing 'sudden' about our decision to UBAC - that feeling of 'right'.

Becoming a mother changes everything, as well all know. It changes our view of the world in a major way. Suddenly we are responsible for a life that we love more than even our own life. I had also been doing the 'reclaiming my body and the rest of myself from mainstream thinking and living' as someone I know on the Freebirth forums has called it. This too also started with my son and me becoming a mother. I felt I was also helping him to reclaim his body and the rest of himself from mainstream thinking and living as well after his traumatic and jerky entry into the world. Whilst I have read many birthing stories and know that in many ways I was lucky as our birth was not as traumatic as some very close friends that I have - I can only imgaine what it must have been like for my sons soul and placement onto this earth. With him, we stepped away from modern medicine and entered a world of alternative therapies. With this knowledge, we were also able to concieve the child I carry today when 'modern medicine' could not help us (in either way that I needed - physically, emotionally and spiritually). Trusting my body, being comfortable with it and the woman that I am came through this. Alternative therapies are a different emotional world as well. They are a whole healing rather than just a surface scratching. This was part of the healing that I needed in my body and my heart. All of this of course has deffinately been contained by my own research and practice and experiences through life and motherhood - something that has taken time during my own healing over the birth I had. This has also, for me, invovled a bit of spiritual healing and growth as well. I feel whole once again. Without this feeling of wholeness, I am not sure I could be where I am today - with the decision to UBAC. Though research has deffinately helped - sifting through the fact from fiction and empowering myself to take control of my body, that was only a very small part of the decision to UBAC. Though its reassuring to know that I will not rip apart and die by having a birth at home after a C-Section or that a breech baby can be born perfectly normally and healthily and thats it perfectly fine for the placenta to take three hours or more to birth and all the signs to watch out for if anything is not going 'smoothly' and the probability of anything going 'wrong' ...etc...all of this gathered pregnancy and birthing knowledge/information probably helped me heal more from my sons birth that it did in helping me decide to UBAC this time around. This of course was much needed either way.

I am not sure there was any 'one' shift. I guess the shift is a gradual thing but I do feel there was a 'shift' of some kind. I think for me this happened more recently (hence my recent decision to announce our current plans to UBAC! :D). At the begining of this prengancy I knew I would be having a home birth. The thought of going unassisted has been there since we started to TTC (especially ever since I saw the Freebirth documentary that aired here first in the UK) though. But at that point in my life, it felt more like a 'nice' thing to do if I 'could' rather than something I felt I had to do. I didn't want to go into something because of an 'ideal' - if I was going to UBAC, it had to be the right decsion for me - for us. And up to the point where I am today, it was just a nice 'ideal'. For me, the final decision to go unassisted was through that feeeling of 'right' that I got - that was it, it just clicked. I think this feeling of right was helped through the connection of a close friend and support groups such as forums like Joyous Birthing and BornFree! (and through the gradual connection that I have with this little baby growing inside of me). I am not one to comform for the feeling of fitting in and I no longer feel it is just a nice 'ideal' - but it certainly feels nice to be understood and supported and talked to like a human - an individual spirit that is right and desrving.
This is no longert my 'birth plan' - it is what will happen.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Pregnancy differences

It's fun to sit here and think about the differences between this pregnancy and the pregnancy with my son. I don't think one or the other suggests either sex though. I simply think they are difference because well...they are different!

The first noticable difference is my cravings. When I was pregnant with my DS, my cravings were longer lasting. Almost by trimester. For the first trimester I craved a lot of fresh fruit and eggs! It was mostly just fresh fruit in the second trimester - I was eating a punnet of strawberries a day or more! And then for the third trimester it was salty and sour so popcorn and lemons were on my cravings list!

This baby is certainly more picky! Whilst I am having deffinate cravings, they come and go - sometimes by meal but mostly by week. I have gone from craving burritos to salad to watermelon to pork chops...

Which reminds me - as a vegetarian, I do not eat meat. Even when I am craving it. This baby craves pork chops whilst Duncan craved salmon! hehe

The second most noticable difference is the way they move. My son was a kicker. He was never very active but he kicked. This one is more of a roller. They don't do much kicking but they certainly like to roll which is such an odd feeling!!! Especially when they completely roll around in a 360 degree way. It's like having a giant bubble of gas within me - that isn't gas at all!

I will also add that I think the third most noticable (or not so noticable to anyone but me hehe) is my bump shape. With my son I was certainly all over the place but this bump seems to be neat and right out in front.

Will be interesting to see how this pregnancy progresses! I can't wait to meet my baby! hehe

Sunday, 22 November 2009

This weeks photo - 19+1!

Here is this weeks photo! Measured this morning and I am an inch bigger around than last week and I can tell by the photo alone that my bump has shifted up more! Cool!
So here it is!


What happened this week:
Growth of baby's body is now catching up with its head. Baby's lower limbs lengthening and bones are becoming ossified. By this stage, amazingly, early ovaries, follicles and eggs are now beginning to grow in the female foetus. Your baby's ears are close to their proper position at the side of the head, though they stick out at the moment.17 weeks' gestation 19 weeks from your LMP. Foetus length: 15cm crown to rump (20cm or 8 inches head to toe). Weight: about 240g or 8oz.
Woohoo - A lot this week!!! Still so amazed!

NO! - To late scan...

I have another MW appointment at 22 weeks (so in just a few weeks), so will she how she takes its but I have decided against her desire for a late scan in this pregnancy.
Why you ask?.... Well there are a few reasons. First I will explain why she (the MW) wanted a late scan...and this is because she wanted it to confirm baby position and placental position. Now this is why I will not be having a late scan.

First I have not had any scans at all for this pregnancy. This is mostly because the scans that they offer (one at 12 weeks for dating and one at 20 weeks for I don't really know but most people like to find out the sex during this time) would not tell me anything I or anyone else needs to know. Add that to the fact that I do not feel they are safe. So those two scans were easily passed up/declined.

So...onto the 'late scan' (which at the time I felt would be most appropriate - for the reasons desired for the scan - at a later time in pregnancy such as 35 weeks +) and why I feel confident in also declining the MW's desire for this...

The first is that a scan only tells you what is happening in the present. Baby may or may not be breech at this time but it is well known that babies can and do often change position once in actual labour. So whilst a scan can tell you one thing, it can only tell you what is happening then and the outcome can be very different in labour and delivery. A good MW can tell the position of a baby simply by feel. You can also 'map' out your uterus by the baby's movments to help determine/confirm baby position.

At the end of the day - breech birth is just a variation of normal (and if done correctly, is just as safe!)

So what about the placenta? Well it does move around quite a bit during pregnancy but usually towards the end of it, it is set where it will stay until birthing day. So whilst a 'late' scan can indeed confirm where the placenta is position, this is not too terribly important to know. Of course, placenta previa is a serious thing but there are usually many other signs that the placenta is in such an undesirable position - as well as being able to hear it with a pinard or feel its position. So I feel comfortable in declining a scan for this as well as the placentas position can be confirmed with other non invasive/medical techniques to rule out something like complete placenta previa.

I still do not feel scans are safe or desired. I remember having a late scan at 30 weeks when I was pregnant with my son and he sure did not like it as well. He was indeed breech during that scan and would often turn away and cover his face when the scan came near to his face. If this baby is indeed also breech, that could put a breech baby in an undesirable position due to the fact that they are trying to hide from such a breech (ha! - no pun intended!) in privacy. This is such an intimate thing and something I am not comfortable with being exploited for unnessary reasons.

Then theres the 'Eeyore' complex as well. That is - negativity. My MW wants the scan - I do not. Whilst a scan would not change my feelings or decisions on the matter, it might change her feelings and her comfort level which adds up to the support - or lack of support - I may recieve...all due to the outcome of a scan (that once again only tells you what is happening at the present). This is something I am not willing to risk. I need to stay in tune with my body and my insistincs and trust them to be able to birth naturally and peacefully - the way God and nature intended. 'Ignorance is bliss' in this situation. I would rather my MW stayed positive and prepared rather than negative and worried and whatever else she may be feeling due to unpredictable and unreliable results of something medical and not intended or desired for my body or this baby (ie - the 'late scan'). Because at the end of the day, it is my body and my baby - so any scan results would be down to what I would do with the information and not my MW. So = No scan!

To sum it up - there is nothing a scan, even 'late', could tell me that would change my desired decision - and thats a natural vaginal home birth. I feel confident in this decision and my ability to have a natural vaginal home birth (breech or otherwise - however this baby is meant to enter the world!) and am looking forward to the rest of my pregnancy and meeting my baby for the first time on their Birthday! :D

Friday, 20 November 2009

Thee Amazing Body - Nipples

Yes - nipples! Apparently they get bigger and darker in pregnancy. They certainly did with my first pregnancy and whilst they are no longer that dark, they never did get smaller! hehe
I keep waiting for them to get darker but I think they didn't until the third trimester with my first pregnancy. So far, I seem to just have a dark ring around my nipples - which looks terribly attractive...not! Though it is kinda funny!
Whats that all about then? Well apparently is had to do with hormone changes in pregnancy - thats just what they do! Makes it easier for baby to find source of food as well when baby is born due to their poor eyesight.

Heartburn

Not much. I didn't have any with my first pregnancy so this is a bit new for me. So far, the trick is small meals. Especially before bed.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

UBAC

Perhaps...maybe...Honestly, its one of those things I plan to be prepared for and wait until the moment to decide as I don't feel this is something I can deffinately say yes to at the moment. It is something that even pre-conception I have been considering though.
In case you are wondering - thats 'Unassisted Childbirth After C-Section'.
Why unassisted childbirth you ask? Well - you can get many answers (and information) here.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Kick sounds...(so far)

Here are some flutter type kicks...

video

And here are some proper big kicks! hehe

video

Today at 18W4D. (gotta be a bit patient with these - they arn't too fantastic but they are something! hehe)

We have a heartbeat!

We have a (non-doppler) heartbeat!!!
Don't quite know how to figure out the 'rate' of it - but I do know it was rather fast. About 160+. That was about the same as my sons as well. 18W4D today so thats not bad going...though perhaps the baby was just in the perfect position for me to hear. I think they are floating up high in my uterus (sideways with feet dangling down) at the moment based on where I feel movments.


Have been recording all sorts of sounds with my 'electronic pinard' (lol) - But have yet to figure out how to 'share' it with the world yet! Think I need to try another program in recording it. Hope to get them up soon though - so far I have some good 'kicking' ones where baby is doing a little dance...not to record this heartbeat! :D


Monday, 16 November 2009

Baby can hear!

I mean...I know I have read that babies in utero can hear at this stage in gestation but to feel it is another thing! Everytime today that a loud noise was made, my baby made a very quick big kind of movement - like they were startled or something. At first I was not too sure but I seem to be getting more clumsy! hehe It's amazing though! My baby can hear me! hehe

It has to be a girl...

Because despite the fact we 'had' a name for a girl picked out for the last 5+ years.....It isn't sticking and none of the ones I think I like are. So for the moment, I am stuck on girls names ideas.
I never thought that would happen. We had a girls name!!! lol

Sunday, 15 November 2009

This weeks photo - 18+1!

So here is this weeks photo... (ugh - not the best picture of me!...honestly, I am not as tired as I look! hehe)





And whilst we are at it - a few other photos as well! hehe



What happened this week:

16 weeks' gestation 18 weeks from your LMP. Foetus length: 14cm crown to rump (18cm or 7 inches head to toe). Weight: about 200g.


Huh...well thats all it says for this week! hehe

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Deffinate movement!!!

This baby is awake today! I have felt many kicks today that are deffinately baby! Perhaps it was due to my 'accident' this morning. I feel down the stairs! I know that sounds rather serious but it was only about five steps and I fell on my bottom and back creating a bit of a carpet burn on my elbow. Both my back and elbow are suffering because of it but baby is just fine. Think its first 'roller coaster' ride woke the baby up! hehe
It is such a lovely feeling and I know for sure it is baby in there. Hello baby :D

Heart Monitors

Because I do not feel they are 100% safe (and studies have shown them not to be - but I realise this is a very touchy subject for a lot of people and sometimes the benefits can outweight the risk and of course there will always be some medically necessary situation...) I have decided to opt out of doppler use and ultrasound technology for this very precious pregnancy and baby.
However - that does not mean I miss out at all on the precious sounds within me!
When I was pregnant with my DS I had this device and I am happy to use it again! (it is also much cheaper than any doppler you can get! It only requires a bit of patience! hehe)...
It is the 'Summers Infant Prenatal Heart Monitor' - that is basically a microphone (unlike doppler and ultrasound, it emits no energy into me or my baby). I like to call it my 'pinnard with microphone'. But unlike a pinnard I can hook it up to the computer and record the precious sounds!!! Of course, like a pinnard, you can't hear much until about halfway through the pregnancy (despite I have been having a listen in since about 10 weeks! hehe). I did not hear my sons heartbeat until I was 20 weeks pregnant with him but it was very strong then and deffinate!

So you will be lucky to hear these precious shared moments throughout this blog from this point onwards. I am hoping to record kicks, hiccups as well as the precious heart beat!

Thursday, 12 November 2009

First sling

This baby is very blessed and already very spoilt - hehe.
Yesterday I recieved my Comfy Joey (hybrid shoulder ring sling) in 'buttercup'. Not the most expensive or fancy sling in the world, but I love it! It will be the perfect first sling for this baby (followed shortly by one of my wraps). I am not a RS fan but they have their uses and are pretty nice for newborns.
As you might have guessed - I have a lot of slings. A bit of a 'stash' that isn't quite complete as I have a few more on the way. I am dying to take a photo of my 'stash' and can not wait to share it! - Something I am really proud of! hehe
There are many benefits to 'babywearing' other than just the obvious practical reasons. All of baby's and mothers needs can be met with a simple piece of fabric. It is something I am very glad to have discovered and I feel I have such lucky children because of it! :D

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

For some reason I feel...

This baby is a boy.
I know at the begining I was feeling 'girl' vibes. I think this was from how different a start this pregnancy had (which could simply just be down to the fact thats its a different prgnancy - and most likely is really). But now I am feeling 'boy' vibes.

I have to be honest - whilst I just pray for a healthy baby, I would slightly prefer a girl. Only because this will be our last and it would be nice to have the variety in mother-child relationships. So having another boy makes me feel a teeny-tiny bit sad. Though I think having another boy would be best for my DS in the long run. He says he wants a sister hehe.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

This weeks photo - 17+1!

Another week gone by!...We are well into November now. Hard to believe how fast this is going!
So here is this weeks photo! I don't think you can tell much from this photo and last weeks but I know my diameter is an inch bigger than last weeks as I am keeping measurement for fun! hehe I have gained a total of 10 inches around my waist since becoming pregnant!

What happened this week:
Eyes are slowling migrating from the sides to the front of the head. Slow eyeball movements begin. Baby continues to grow rapidly; add blinking to its list of reflexes (sucking, swallowing are others). 15 weeks' gestation 17 weeks from your LMP. Foetus length: 13cm crown to rump (16cm or 6¼ inches head to toe). Weight: about 155g or 5 oz.
So a bit more this week! :D

Monday, 2 November 2009

This weeks photo - 16+1!

So here we are at 16+1. I also swear I felt a little kick Saturday night as I lay on the sofa eating Halloween sweeties and watching Enchanted!!!



What happened this week:
The uterus is approx. halfway from your pubic bone to your umbilicus (tummy button). 14 weeks' gestation 16 weeks from your LMP Foetus length: 12cm crown to rump (14cm or 5½ inches head to toes). Weight: 80-90g (about 3 oz).

So again - not much but growth.