I am not doing really good with the whole 'wanting but waiting' thing. However, I did find it a relief this month to not think about TTC much at all and to suddenly get my period and look and think 'oh wow - yeah, right on time...another cycle come and gone' without feeling like I didn't hold my breath the entire time. So - I have decided, after research and going back and forth arguing with myself to give low dose aspirin (75mg a day) a try pre-hospital appointment, because I just do not know when that will be around. If it will help - I can not say for sure but I can say I feel pretty safe in taking it regardless.
But - we are still not technically TTC, we are just not preventing. I had a talk with my DH about this and he is fine with not prevening if the mood should arise. However, because I do not want to stress about it I am not going to come to him if I am in the 'mood' because I do not want the stress there in me thinking 'will this be our baby?' and him thinking 'she only wants me to make a baby'!
So I feel good about this because I can not just sit here and do nothing and watch my cycles come and go - but I also can not take the stress of TTC. So I am doing neither ...and maybe we will be lucky.