Thursday, 26 March 2009

Wanting but waiting - again...

So here I am - again. I guess you can say we are officially not TTC any longer. Until I get some answers anyhow. I have been waiting for my appointment and it has not arrived yet so I called my GP back again and he said he sent off the referal the 16th of March - so my appointment could arrive as late as June! Thats a ways off but not too long. I hope it comes sooner.
I am too afraid to try right now. I am filling my time with things that need doing before a baby comes along (such as losing weight - though I am not fat, I just want to be skinny - at least a 'diet' is giving me some control over my own life as everything else seems to be so out of my control right now!) so I can give myself no other choice but to wait. I feel if I try, I am just dooming another new soul to a short life and quick death and I do not know if I can go through that again right now. To be so happy and then have that taken away from me just as quickly.
I feel so out of control. I feel like the world is not fair.
So, back to the 'wanting but waiting tribe' for me.

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