Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Cautiously hopeful

Sticky vibes for me please!!!
I think...really think...hope...I am pregnant!
I took a test yesterday and today (three in total really now hehe) and am getting something there - really light...but something is there. Evap perhaps? And I have had many other signs though as well - including this 'implantation cramping' I have been feeling the past few days now - and having been pregnant three times already in the last 9 months, I think I know what that feels like by now! ...

But I will tell you this...I think and feel that 'evaps' are myths. I have never had an evap that did not gradually turn into an obvious very pink/red positive pregnancy test. So only in hindsight do I know my evaps were really just very light positives. So perhaps those that are not pregnant - really were (because we are all crazy and impatient and test super early hehe) hindsight they think they just had 'evaps' but really just had a chemical pregnancy?

I just want to be happy. But I am finding it hard to be happy - I have not lost hope though. I want to be able to shout to the world - 'I am pregnant!!! We did it! - I have a bun in the oven!!!'...But I don't want to feel stupid or look stupid or whatever. I don't want another heartache. I want this to be over. I just want to be pregnant and stay that way already. I just want a baby. I guess you could say I am cautiously hopeful.

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