Friday, 22 May 2009

My Appointment (can I just say 'grrrrr!!!...')...

Well that about sums it up really - GRRrr!!!

I think I spent more time in the waiting area than actually talking to this so called 'fertility specialist'. My DH took the day off so he could take me to the hospital for my 9:15 - AM! - appointment. It required us to get up earlier than usual and due to the time, despite actual distance, (due to 'work' traffic) - we had to leave around 8AM to get there at a reasonable time.

I had DH drop me off and go to the playground with Duncan - Duncan is used to that kind of good bye and seems to know that I will then be coming back. I did not know what the appointment would invovle and I knew he would not be happy if he had to leave me at any point - But being in the car and driving away with daddy seems to be okay for him. So thats how we did it.

Anyroad...I am finally called in (45 mintues after my appointment was actually scheduled for). They took my blood pressure, height and weight (and BMI - all of that stuff) and then we sat down and started talking. I let her ask all the questions first. Some of the questioned kind of surprised me (and she just started with them). Was I married, how long for, etc. (what does that have to do with my fertility?) She wanted to know if I had had any other pregnancies ...and this is where I started to get annoyed. Look miss...I've been sent here by my GP....all of this has been covered by my GP (including 12 different blood tests) - apparently the GP has done all they can do there which is why I have this here hospital appointment...Surely all of this should have been covered...espeically as the root cause of my need for such an appointment is due to my multiple miscarriages. So yeah...I HAVE been pregnant. I never showed my annoyance though. I am the kind of person who never uses customer service or has my DH 'fix' things because I don't like to bother people (I was starting to wish that DH was there...looks like nothing was going to be done, Duncan might as well have come). I guess this might be because I have worked in customer service. When I fluffed out my feathers a bit and told her my concerns (blood tests of low testosterone/not PCOS/possible endometriosis/etc...) and my thoughts (I mean, I've come all this way right?) - she brushed it off as 'these things happen' and 'it's nothing I am concerned about' (her words! - Great...who cares if you arn't fucking concerned...I AM!) - followed by the 'You have one son already, so clearly you are capable of getting pregnant and carrying to full term'... HELLO! - Does secondary infertility not fucking exsist - is that just a term I have just made up myself?! Clearly people do suffer from infertility issues despite the fact they already have a child. Secondary infertility is a real thing. Something is going on here - something is not right - something is not normal - something needs fixing! (This was my chance to be bold and pushy) she simply said 'Well, I guess we could arrange more blood tests for you.... if thats what you want'. No...don't be concerned about me at all!!! I even ended up blurting out that I am not one of those people who makes up an illness for themselves to get attention - I wans't there to get attention - just answers!

So five (that 5) - mintues later I left the office with nothing but more blood tests scheduled (and a comment of 'I guess we could do the same blood tests again as well...'). eh?... Sigh...Oh arn't I just such a waste of your fucking time!...

Honestly - that appointment could have been done over the phone and saved me the stress and time wasted! GRRRRrrrr!!!

Perhaps she thought she was trying to reassure me...but thats the kind of thing you do to a woman after one...maybe two miscarriages... Not at the point in TTC where I am though. (Oh - she didn't even know what TTC meant! - I put everything down on paper for her and found myself abbreviating things...oh well...)...I am past reassurance. It's time to dig in and get answers! Is that so much to ask for?!

DH is going to look at his health care plan he has with his company (its private healthcare). For an extra fee he can add me onto it - but that will only be worth it if that covers fertility care/etc. It's worth a look anyhow. I am also feeling I will have more respect and concern given to me in the alternative therapies department - so I am going to give acupuncture (there is a fertility acupuncture specialist near-ish to us in Bristol!) a try and crystal healing (which is in Cheltenham near where DH works!). Really looking forward to that!

1 comment:

Annie said...

Hi, this is Annie/railyuh from TBW!

I have had a similar conversation from an OB after my 3rd m/c. Oh, you have one son, that argues against there being a problem and you just need to try again. Um, sorry, no way dude. I requested more tests (a thrombosis/blood clotting panel) and something did show up and he was SO surprised *rolling my eyes* He even told me before running the test that what happened to me doesn't count as recurrent miscarriage, that recurrent miscarriage means 5,10, 15 miscarriages in a row. Really? 15? So if I have 15 then you'll look into it?

Ugh. I'm sorry you dealt with something like that. After I did have something come up on my test I switched to an RE who was thankfully wonderful and took me seriously. Is there another specialist you can switch too? Secondary infertility is totally a real and difficult thing, I'm shocked that doctors act like it doesn't exist :(