My Appointment

Well I just got back this morning from seeing the GP who is a fertility specialist.
Nothing special really but he has booked me in for some blood tests (a lot actually - he said if I am not anemic when I go in, I will be when I leave!). But I have to wait until I have a period as these tests need to be done between CD 3-5 so I need to call in when I get a period and book the blood tests then.
He said the most likely think he could think it is is PCOS...whatever that is. But that we won't really know anything until the blood tests come through and I can find out those results about 10 days after they are done as a few of them are really complex and take a bit longer than the rest. He said that if anything else shows up, most likely it will be something that can easily be fixed as clearly I am ovulating and we are having successes, but they are just not staying put!
So really...I am back to waiting but lets hope theres something there because then I feel I can do something about it, and it can easily be fixed then and then maybe a baby will decide to stay put!!!

Appointment

I braved it and called our medical practice to see someone about the miscarriages I have had and see if we can work something out and get to the bottom of this. I have an appointment on Monday with a GP who specialises in/takes great interest in 'fertility issues'. Hopefully we can figure it out so that the next time I get pregnant, I have a baby that stays put a happy and healthy 9 months!
I am looking forward to the appointment and am trying not to think too much of anything else at this moment. I have a few ideas of what my 'issue' could be but I am no professional. I just hope that they can give me all they got so that I do not walk away without some kind of answer other than just 'bad luck'.

It's over

I had some spotting last night. Of course I was instantly worried that this baby was not sticking. I was right to be worried too. I had a temp drop this morning and took another pregnancy test which was very light considering I just took one a few days ago that was much much darker.
I'm having another miscarriage.
What is wrong with my body?
At this point it feels like I am never going to get the chance to have another child.
I feel like shit.
DH is staying home with me today. I just don't feel like I can function properly.
I know these feelings will pass and I will be right back to TTC but right now I just can not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I will make an appointment with the GP to see if my concerns about progesterone are correct. There has to be a reason why these babies are just not sticking.
Maybe all the forces in the world just hate me.

5 Weeks Today!

I am 5 Weeks today!
According to my 'Day by Day - Pregnancy Calendar':

"At three weeks’ gestation,
five weeks after your Last Menstrual Period, early heartbeats, facial features and lung buds begin to form."

How cool is that! My little apple seed has a heartbeat! How sweet it will be to hear that in a few months time!

Another boy?

So far I am thinking this baby might be another boy! (I would be wonderfully fine with that! hehe) My first trimester with DS is starting to come back to me and they are both looking very similar. I am not very hungry usually, which is unlike me (hehe) and when I am hungry I am craving a good mix of salty and sweet. Rice loaded with soya sauce seems to really hit the spot, followed by some syrupy sweet waffles for example! Just going to have to wait till June to find out! hehe

Another doula down but slightly more promising...

I got another email this morning from another doula I enquired about and the distance is an issue for her as well (all the doulas available to me are going to be a distance away from me though - not counting the unafordable doula that is only 6 miles away from me, they start out at 15 miles +). On the plus side, this is looking positive for my future career as a doula...hehe. If doulas are going to be sought after in my area, I am going to be the most affordable available one around! :p
I find it kinda ironic that I made a short mental list, just based on profle and website (for those that had one) whom I thought I would prefer and in which order and so far that is how they have emailed me! hehe Doula Emma was the first to email me and Doula Rachel was the second. She also has a website and sounds lovely! (I think most doulas must be lovely! hehe) Distance is an issue for her as well, but it looks a bit more promising as she did say that if I am unable to find a doula then perhaps I could get back to her and we could arrange something. This is probably going to end up being the case.

One doula down...

And only a few left to go... I can not afford anything more than a trainee and because of where we live, that does not give me much option!
I just got an email from the doula that I put top of my list based on her profile and website, but she is not happy with the distance between us (an hours drive). Good and bad (for me) about that obviously, she sounds like a lovely doula!...If I get through the list of all available to me in the area that I live in (I searched only up to 20 mile radius), then I may go back to her and beg that she accept the distance and wish for a labour no shorter than 2 hours long :p lol
The 'problem' I can see is that when I went to the doula UK website and searched for doulas in my 'area' based on post code (up to 20 mile radius) is that they are all a good distance away from me from 15 miles to 20 miles but nothing under that! So the distance might be an issue with all of them and that leaves me with nothing because there is only one doula under 15 miles away from me (6 in fact - she is the closest) but she is far from a trainee and that is something we can not afford. Not to mention that I think having a trainee would be nice. I would like to support a trainee doula seeing as how one day that may also be me....ho hum...hmmm........